God Save us from the Media

I will never forget listening to the news radio and hearing the reporter proclaim that one of the major auto companies is producing a new six cylinder V8. What is it with the facts and the media. They are like the opposite ends of a magnet. Anytime they get close together they push away. It must be some kind of physics thing. Like brains opposing intelligence. Another time I heard a reporter ask the inevitable question after a plane crash. "How did you feel about that?"
Oh I felt great, nothing like a plan crash to start out the day. Loss of life, death, dismemberment, yep. Gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling.
Where do these media people get these intelligent questions. They must get up in the morning and look in the mirror and ask themselves "What stupid question can I ask today? What if one of the other TV reporters asks a question better or more rediculous than mine?" Think about the Weather reporters job. They are usually wrong and they don't get fired or sued. Did I mention they get paid lots of money as well? One of our local TV reporters was arrested for driving the wrong way down the expressway, which the competing TV stations were quick to point out. She was back on the air in about two weeks, acting serious and probably not covering drunk driving stories. I wonder if it is an unwritten rule. If you get caught doing something you can't report on it. How about reporting on yourself. Just bring the camera along with you and whenever do something of note, just do a story on it while you are in the process. "Here I wam Bell going beast bound in the wes boun wanes. Dis is a goot exam..exam..shoot you know mean, of what a little drinky winky can do to mess up your driving. Here its somethin else. I see blue spots in my eyss". See ya!!!!

Billy Mays

Have you ever wanted to grab a TV spokesperson by the neck and squeeze. Billy Mays brings that urge out in me. I'm sure he grabs the attention of most people. The only thing I want to grab is the remote to turn him off. It's a sweet feeling when he disappears off the screen and peace and solitude return. Sometimes I day dream about taking the indespencable jar opener and putting it on Billy's head and twisting until he promises to whisper in all the commercials. What kills me the most is his probable income. This guy is probably pulling down some big bucks. So he is getting paid to irritate me. So here is my chance to get my digs in. Billy, you and me and the jar opener. You are on notice.